Incirrina

She is an octopus,
waving tentacles; an uncertain body
whose blind eyes are river water
reflecting smoke and grey sky,

whose muscle pumps
red amber green, her juices
busy and intermingled
around the glassy centre.

Never tiring, she shines
all day and night until the break
of next; her blood might thin
but never stop its journey.

She is transit and destination,
epithelial indifference, little thought
of class, or the trade her designs
have sought to build upon.

Sometimes I reach her choking heart
(though not without expenditure);
but always, home will be the skirts
of this cruel and thoughtless creature.

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About mudwords

Please feel free to point and laugh.
This entry was posted in Poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Incirrina

  1. Jingle says:

    lovely words,
    i see her come alive.
    thank you for the continued poetry post.

    • mudwords says:

      Thanks Jingle. To be honest, I’m not sure about this poem. The ‘she’ is meant to be the city, but I don’t think it’s clear enough. No one has really got it without me having to tell them, which kinda defeats the object πŸ™‚

      • Linda Goin says:

        Hey Mudwords and Jingle — I just visited Poets United and realized that we three were put into a group together with Galley — Now I know why you visited my site. LOL (gads am I slow today). Pleased that we’re supporting each other. Let me know when you have a new poem up and I’ll be right there. Trying to post daily myself, but it seems impossible this summer.

  2. Jingle says:

    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/07/11/happy-belated-birthday-plus-get-well-soon-wishes-4-five-friends/

    please help visit 5 people,
    wishing them Happy Belated Birthday or Get Well Soon.
    Thank you in advance!
    cheers!

  3. Imagina says:

    lovely πŸ™‚

  4. she is beautiful…i love it!

  5. Linda Goin says:

    Hey Mudwords — I was a bit confused, thinking “nautilus,” but when I read your comment, you opened up the whole poem for me. Why not just say, “The city is an octopus” — ?? Not everyone can think abstractly…and providing that clue sure adds a whole new dimension to this great poem. That clarification really defined the last two lines. Great!

    • mudwords says:

      Hi Linda. I was hoping to avoid an outright statement of what the poem was about, but I think you’re right. Obviously the allusion is clear to me, but I haven’t been able to make it clear for the reader. Acheiving that kind of critical distance from your own work can be hard, and it’s incredibly helpful to get honest, critical input – thank you for your insight!

      • Linda Goin says:

        ha — I did the same thing to myself this week — too enigmatic. Sometimes the clarity is much more poetic, really. I still have this to learn and absorb (from a mentor at a writing workshop, actually).

  6. Julia (irradiatedpoetry) says:

    Very, very well written and creative. I loved it.

  7. fiveloaf says:

    octopus? haha ok!

  8. sparrowsong says:

    I came at it from a male perspective analyzing the female psyche and comparing her to an octopus. I really like poetry that can be open to multiple interpretations, so my vote is you keep it how it is. Unless, of course, it bothers you when people come up with bizarre perspectives like mine. πŸ™‚

    • mudwords says:

      All perspectives are very welcome, thanks for sharing! I did end up changing the opening line (‘She’ to ‘this town’) after all. I’m all for multiple interpretations, but I really wanted the allusion to come through – although, as fiveloaf pointed out, perhaps an octopus was a bit of an odd choice πŸ˜‰

  9. buttercup600 says:

    So creatively descriptive. Loved it so πŸ™‚ Thabks for sharing πŸ™‚

  10. siubhan says:

    i like the city-as-octopus opening; your imagery here is quite powerful. very nice piece.

  11. Alejandra says:

    Wonderful metaphor for a city. Great job!

  12. hoiden says:

    the city is the octopus????wow interesting somparison…loved d poem..

  13. julielaing says:

    No pointing and laughing here–your piece is fabulously vivid. And I love the title of your blog.

  14. I agree with Alejandra. Good metaphor and a lovely poem!

  15. Missy Ricco says:

    “She is transit and destination,
    epithelial indifference, little thought”

    I am a big fan of poetry that verges on the abstract and quite enjoyed this. I love the personification of the city, use of that technique entangles the reader.

  16. Jingle says:

    http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/official-poetry-awards-the-celebrate-poet-of-july-plus/

    3 awards…a runner up on poetry won by votes, plus two on the bottom..
    check out details yourself,
    Happy Tuesday!

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